Quit Pursuing Perfect

Why You Should Abandon Perfectionism & Try Boasting Instead

This post isn’t perfect.

It isn’t linear. It isn’t polished.

This post springs from a desire to share insights poets—and being a poet—have revealed about abandoning perfectionism in pursuit of artistic and political liberation.

First off, perfectionism is different from precision or expertise.

Of course we should strive for excellence, but we shouldn’t let perfect take the place of good enough—for now.

How do you know you’re being plagued by perfectionism?

Perfectionism—or the angsty, suffocating feeling of not-enough-ness—is tangled up in oppressive systems of ableism, hetero-patriarchy, and white supremacy.

We know this because ultra wealthy white men are considered standard (and allowed) to just show up as they are. Meanwhile, the rest of us are expected to over-perform and aim for impossible standards.

Photo by Pablo Padilla on Unsplash

Perfectionism is essentially a form of self-policing.

Feeling not smart, professional, poised, experienced, capable—enough? Constantly nitpicking your ideas, insights, expertise and abilities? Are you searching for flaws before you seek strengths?

That inner cop—you’ve got to abolish him, too.

But how do we do that? Sometimes it requires what can initially feel like a delusional level of confidence. I’ll reference more on that later though.

In the meantime, here’s the truth: you’re probably going to make crappy art before you make incredible art. And that’s okay. The same goes for organizing. You’re probably going to mess up. Conflicts will undoubtably arise and you’ll learn. That’s not failure. That’s part of the process. But you need to start the process somewhere.

You need room for improvisation and the confidence to experiment. That openness is what keeps creativity—and movements—alive.

In organizing, perfectionism can water down your message. It can cause you to stall, to overcomplicate things that need to be made clear. And simplifying complex issues? That’s not easy. It takes emotional labor, and it takes trust, in yourself and in your comrades. Trust that if we fall, we can pick each other back up and keep moving.

Back to my thoughts on harnessing confidence to combat the pitfalls of perfectionism.

I’m a poet but I also have a background as a rapper, MC or hip-hop lyricist. I’ll use these terms interchangeably.

Hip-hop lyricism has roots in Black American and Caribbean braggadocio. Now, bragging isn’t particularly unique if you already have power. But if you’re oppressed, harnessing confidence can be a matter of life and death.

Nikki Giovanni’s below poem, Ego Tripping (there may be a reason why) was penned in the late 60’s, but you could argue it is the genesis of the hip-hop lyricist. Read and or listen to the poem. What lines stick out to you? What do you notice?

Ego Tripping (there may be a reason why)
Nikki Giovanni, 1968

I was born in the congo
I walked to the fertile crescent and built
    the sphinx
I designed a pyramid so tough that a star
    that only glows every one hundred years falls
    into the center giving divine perfect light
I am bad

I sat on the throne
    drinking nectar with allah
I got hot and sent an ice age to europe
    to cool my thirst
My oldest daughter is nefertiti
    the tears from my birth pains
    created the nile
I am a beautiful woman

I gazed on the forest and burned
    out the sahara desert
    with a packet of goat’s meat
    and a change of clothes
I crossed it in two hours
I am a gazelle so swift
    so swift you can’t catch me

    For a birthday present when he was three
I gave my son hannibal an elephant
    He gave me rome for mother’s day
My strength flows ever on

My son noah built new/ark and
I stood proudly at the helm
    as we sailed on a soft summer day
I turned myself into myself and was
    jesus
    men intone my loving name
    All praises All praises
I am the one who would save

I sowed diamonds in my back yard
My bowels deliver uranium
    the filings from my fingernails are
    semi-precious jewels
    On a trip north
I caught a cold and blew
My nose giving oil to the arab world
I am so hip even my errors are correct
I sailed west to reach east and had to round off
    the earth as I went
    The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid
    across three continents

I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal
I cannot be comprehended
    except by my permission

I mean . . . I . . . can fly
    like a bird in the sky . . .

Hip hop lyricism taught me to channel the confidence I needed—not just to write razor-sharp rap bars or rock a crowd—but to move through the world like a warrior.

I have those skills forever. They’ll always be a part of me.

Now let’s explore one line in particular: “EVEN MY ERRORS ARE CORRECT.”

This is a mantra that I repeat to myself from time to time.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia in fourth grade. I’m no stranger to grammatical mistakes, to being a slow reader and struggling to grasp concepts that neurotypical folks breeze past.

The above Nikki Giovanni line, “even my errors are correct” resonates with me for two main reasons:

1.) It eludes to the ways in which errors can actually birth entire genres and sub genres of music (hip-hop was created when DJ Kool Herc looped the break on a record. Was it a mistake that actually worked? Perhaps.) What may, at first, seem like grave errors can beckon new ways of being, new words and ideas too.

2.) Now, consider this: what if your entire existence is perceived as a “mistake.”

What if no matter how perfect you try to be—the perfect mom, the perfect partner, the perfect organizer, the perfect worker—you can never measure up? That’s exactly what it feels like to exist in a world where systems of oppression dictate our futures.

Giovanni flips the script and embraces being infinitely “correct.” Is it delusional? Yes. Is it a helpful exercise in a world where some of us are set up to fail? Also, yes.

What’s the complete opposite of self policing perfectionism?

I’d say an exaggerated sense of self. So, big up yuhself with hyperbole.

Writing Prompt: If You Choose to Accept it:

A hyperbole is an extreme exaggeration used to make a point. It’s the opposite of an understatement. The word hyperbole actually comes from a Greek word meaning “excess.”

So, whereas a metaphor might be dramatic, a hyperbole takes the cake.

Simile: The lake is like glass.

Metaphor: The lake is pure peace.

Hyperbole: The lake was so still and clear that you could see through it down to the center of the earth.

More Hyperbole Examples:

• I’m dying of shame!

• His coat was so big he was swimming in it.

• That man is as tall as a house.

• I read this book at least a hundred times.

• You could have knocked me over with a feather.

Now, apply a hyperbole to yourself. Brainstorm some of your skills. Next, be over the top! Boast like you’ve never boasted before.

Try these sentence starters—

• I am so hip, even my errors are correct…

• I am so ethereal…

• I am so stunning…

• I am so beautiful…

• I am so capable…

• I am so loving, so righteous, so compassionate…

• I am as brilliant as…as wise as…as brave as…