Someone asked me what I did for work the other day, but the question made me want to vomit.
Oh wow! Why do you think that is?
I'm a creative—an artist—but it would take hours to explain what kind of artist I am. Plus, I'm nowhere near where I should be.
You could share that you're an artist and leave it at that.
But I'm not famous. I haven't produced enough, I haven't been on TV, and I still have a 9-to-5 regular job. People get excited when you tell them you're creative—when you share that you're a painter, a writer, or a dancer. They want more. I don't have enough to offer.
Sounds like you have some scheming to do.
What do you mean? Is that a threat?
No, it's an invitation.
But when it comes time to scheme, I often overthink. I get exhausted and discouraged, and it happens right when I should be sharing my elevator pitch. The elevator doors are closing and I’m still mumbling. Why can't I define myself?
It may seem like you're lost in an abyss, but you're on the right track. You're starting with a question. Inquiries are significant because that means you're still curious and embracing challenging emotions–fears and apprehensions–to learn from them and discover a deeper sense of your path.
Keep staying open to possibilities.
Ok, why can't I define myself? What's stopping me? Those aren't rhetorical questions, by the way! I need some answers, muse.
Well, self-definition is a commitment.
Commitments may shift overtime, but self-definitions require some boxes, borders and constraints. That’s nerve wracking.
Bingo. No wonder I have a hard time with it. I have commitment issues.
Think about a dictionary. When you look up a word, let's say hope, you're going to read a definition (hope is trust in the future) and you're also welcome to review synonyms (hope is like faith) and antonyms (the opposite of hope is despair).
The word is defined by what it is similar to and what it is different from.
Emily Dickinson even wrote her own definition when she penned that
“hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
and sings the tune without words
and never stops at all.”
You can approach yourself as an artist in a similar way. You define your practice by what you're similar to and different from. And like language itself, the definition of words aren't set in stone because words change as humans change. New words enter the English lexicon all the time, too.
You're such a poet. You're such a word-nerd.
This is true. I was always inspired by Malcolm X.
Have you ever read his biography?
He was incarcerated for many years and instead of losing hope he decided to read the entire dictionary—from cover to cover. He was especially struck by the word "Black" and how it was defined in such negative, cruel and limiting terms.
It didn’t sit right with him. By making a commitment to reimagining the word Black, he redefined himself. His entire life path shifted towards empowering Black people.
This was a pivotal point in his self-actualization process as a revolutionary and an expert orator.
So, I’m supposed to be as determined as Malcolm X? I don’t think I have it in me.
I need help!
I’m sure even our biggest muses needed help from time to time.
Don't we all?
Prompt (If You Choose to Accept It)
First, choose just one medium in which you feel the most confident. I know it's tough, but pick one for now.
Ex: I am a writer. I am a painter. I am a coach.
Write your exclamation on the top of your paper.
Ex: I AM A WRITER.
Next, create two columns. In the first column, write down adjectives and sensory details that describe who you are as a writer. This is a brain dump, so don't be too precise. Write what comes to your mind. Who are your favorite writers? Add in some accolades. What have you already accomplished?
Ex: Daring, prose, Toni Morrison, memoir, velocity, poetic, published in TeenVogue, teaching artist.
Next, write down what you’re NOT. Write adjectives and sensory details that are the opposite of the writing you do. Who would you describe is in opposition to your creativity? What kind of writing will folks never read from you?
Ex: Academic jargon, boring, clickbait, bland, capitalistic, etc.
Write as much as you can in both columns.
Lastly, review your lists. Finish the sentence: I AM A WRITER WHO…add in as many details from column one as possible. Next, add in UNLIKE…or…A DEVIATION FROM…to sharpen your self-definition by what you're not…by what sets you apart.
What a great exercise in honing a quick statement to share as a pitch. This is so well thought out and written! Redefining ourselves is always available, should we choose. Love your prompts; thank you!