Life is coming at me fast—like, speed of light fast.
The world is on fire, for starters. I'm worried about the economy. My creative practice is essential, but I'm having trouble prioritizing it. I'm trying to juggle six projects, see friends and call family. I'm drowning in deadlines. What should I do?
What's the magic word?
Please?
It's not 'please’, it's 'no.’
No is the real magic word for muses. No helps you navigate our daily life, preserve your attention, manage your time and prioritize your creative practice.
That sounds ridiculous.
Think about it though.
We’re just babies. We’re just a collection of all the growth stages that have gotten us to this age. Healing requires loving our inner child(ren).
An important part of human development is transitioning from being an infant (whose whole world is her mother) to a toddler. The toddler stage (also known as the terrible twos) is challenging for caretakers.
This could be because toddlers are narcissistic. However, self-centeredness is actually a healthy part of strengthening the ego. Being a toddler is about claiming a sense of self and exploring the boundaries of personhood. That's why toddlers are a bit obsessed with the word "no."
Once they can speak, they repeat '“no” almost incessantly.
Are you telling me to be narcissistic baby?
Absolutely not. You’re an adult now. But that ego-shaping was a stage you moved through as humans. But, those of us who may not have developed the healthiest coping mechanisms from youth to adulthood, often struggle with boundaries.
That describes me in a nutshell.
You gotta prioritize your time. You have to stop agreeing to every so-called opportunity. You need to honor your worth. You shouldn't feel obligated to work for free.
Embrace the power of “no.”
It doesn't feel great. What if people get mad at me?
Try it.
No.
Nope.
Not doing it.
But shouldn't I be grateful for opportunities? Shouldn't I be happy I have jobs, friends, a partner, or a family that cares about me? Isn't it disrespectful not to show up for them whenever I can?
I’m not telling you to abandon your community. I’m telling you to find a balance.
Do you want to pour from a full cup or an empty one? Do you want to ensure your basic needs are met so you can donate to mutual aid or spend your entire Sunday making art?
I never thought about it that way.
Remember, “no” is not just a word, it's a potential boundary. It's a way to ensure you have the time and space to focus on your creative calling.
But shouldn't I be honored since I have the privilege of doing what I love?
Does it take work?
Yes.
Then you shouldn't approach it as if it comes natural, as if it doesn't require time and expertise.
Look, saying “no” can feel daunting. It can feel like you're turning down opportunities when you’re actually making space for better ones, for alignment.
I just want you to consider the word "no" more often.
No. I’m not ready.
I ain't mad at it.
Haven't you noticed
that these interviews
are an invitation anyway?
Prompt (If You Choose to Accept It)
Write down three creative goals you have in the coming month.
Next, make some predictions about what might you have to say “no” to in order to get closer to meeting those goals?